Cry for the children

garner-victimI pray I never have children.

I sit here and watch the news and there is nothing but foolishness. I mean, I can list it but I’m sure you can, too. Trayvon Martin, John Crawford, Mike Brown and Eric Garner, to name a few black men all killed, and all have their murderers walking the streets now.

Case after case, the facts are different but the end result is not. There are discussions everywhere about what is happening in our country. Frankly, the justice system is deciding how threatening can a black man be, and how a black man can pay the ultimate price for that perceived threat.

Living while black has been criminalized, and I will not have a child that comes out the womb as a suspect.

Here are some facts that explain my point. Black students are suspended three times as much as their white counterparts. According to ProPublica, black men are 21 times more likely to be killed by police than white men. The unemployment rate for blacks is twice as high as whites, and black women get paid 69 cents to a white man’s $1. This makes me furious dare I say: an angry black woman.

Mind you, I’m saying this in fit of rage, but I pray I never have a child. My child will be black; there will be no ifs, ands or buts about it. They may be mixed but any child of mine will be at least half black. I refuse to let that happen!

Having a black son would be the worst thing that could happen to me. I feel like at this point any black man is set up for failure. I refuse to have to teach my son that police will stop him. I refuse to have to give him instructions about how to proceed cautiously. I refuse to sit my boy down and tell him that he can’t wear baggy clothes, hoodies, etc. I won’t do it. I shouldn’t have to. I refuse to. I will not have a son who will be judge by both his color and ability!

I refuse to have a daughter! A little girl who will grow up in what is still a man’s world. I won’t have my daughter come home crying because people think she is the next black spokesperson for the race. I refuse to have a daughter who will have any accomplishment qualified with, “For a black girl.” You’re pretty for a black girl, you’re smart for a black girl, you’re funny for a black girl will never be directed at my princess! Let a business pay my daughter less than a man; that will be their last day in operation.

I refuse have children because even if they were great kids, I would be damned if someone said they only got where they were because of affirmative action. I will fight whoever would dare call my child a racist slur or asks to touch their hair. I loathe the idea that my child will grow up knowing that white is the default and they just have to get in where they can fit in. Why would I have a child to put myself and them through that?

My main reason I cannot raise a black child is because I don’t have the patience. Let something happen to my child, I don’t know if I could get on national TV and make a compassionate statement. I wouldn’t say burn the city down like Mike Brown’s stepfather. You would see me on the news burning it down by myself! I wouldn’t sit in court room day after day as they characterize my flesh as a “thug,” “thief” or let alone a “demon.” I will not put myself through that! I won’t, won’t! sit idly by as news pundits discuss my child’s behavior, or lawfulness. I would grab CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News and ring their necks. If one Facebook troll makes a post about how my child might have deserved it, I will shut the internet down. Not like Kim Kardashian tried; I would shut it down!

If I have a black child, it will be an eye-for-an-eye kind of world. I would not be able to work because my No. 1  job would be stopping the world from hurting them. At the current pace there is a lot of hurting. There is so much work to be done to bring equity to the world, I cannot add a child, a black child, to this chaos. Instead, I might try to help the ones who are already here. It looks like everyone could use a little extra love.

As I lay my heavy heart down tonight, I will pray that I don’t let this rage turn into hate. I will pray that equality and justice are brought to this country. Lastly, I will pray that I don’t have a black child to add to this foolishness.


Nailah Ware

About Nailah Ware
Ms. Ware attends California State University, Sacramento, and works as an assistant at the California Secretary of State election office. She is president of the Glen Elder neighborhood association, and is passionate about the way political decisions impact individual neighborhoods. She is especially interested in issues involving public transportation.


  1. wavery clemons says

    I’m touched by your outrage. I’m touched by you sincerity. I’m touched by your decisions to not raise kids, or your passion to defend them. Nailah, It is clear we have a lot of work to do in this country to square things up. Don’t let it stop you, or take it all into your spirit. It will kill you. The stress will drive your blood pressure through the roof, smile.
    I will be praying you each time I remember you.
    I believe you will relate to my blog on another site. I will send it to you. We are cut from the same cord. You are an ‘old-soul’,smile

  2. Brenda Gaspar says

    This is the most powerful commentary I have seen regarding the condition of African American parents and children in our country. Thank you for your well thought, well written commentary. I would like to post the link to my facebook page so that everyone I am connected to can read it. Brenda Gaspar, Oakland

  3. Billy Brown says

    Dear Nailah

    Thank you, for your most recent article in the
    Oakland Voices. It was inspiring and uplifting
    to myself, and others, who look to see promise
    in today’s youth. Thank you, for the honesty and courage
    expressed in your words.
    Please, if you have a moment, contact my
    employer & friend, Mr. Milton Bowens. He
    teaches at Mayor Kevin Johnson school on Sacramento.
    Milton is a extraordinary artist. It is my idea,
    there could be an opportunity for a collaboration
    between yourself and 510studio, from the viewpoint
    expressed in article. or fan page
    Thank u, for taking the moment to read this
    and explore an opportunity to show black lives
    DO MATTER !!

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